Dreaming Out Loud
by foreversleepless
Summary: From broken arms to hearts, Bella and Edward have always been there for each other, but when tragedy strikes home how will these two best friends cope? Will feelings of loss and absolute loneliness gravitate them together or tear them apart? AU & HUMAN
1. Stop and Stare

**Summary:** _Bella and Edward have been friends since the day she came home from the hospital and haven't left each others side since. So what happens when tragedy strikes home? How will Bella cope? Will she be able to sort out all the feelings she's left inside? Edward's been there for all her life but how is he going to handle this? Something between them has changed, something big.

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**This is a Songfic all based off of OneRepublic's phenomenal first album **_Dreaming Out Loud_**. Their astounding album inspires me in so many ways. Way that are easy to show, like writing this story, and ways that have totally changed my way of thinking, my way of life. I owe so much to Ryan Tedder, Zack Filkins, Drew Brown, Eddie Fisher, and Brent Kutzle. Thanks guys, you truly are completely amazing.**

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_**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Twilight Saga or any of it's characters, nor do I own any of the OneRepublic songs that will present themselves in this story. I merely borrow greater work than my own.

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Dreaming Out Loud

Chapter 1 – Stop and Stare

Soundtrack – Stop and Stare, by OneRepublic

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The school auditorium wasn't big. It held our school's population, that's it. So when I looked around at all the familiar faces of the Forks townspeople. I was shocked to say the least. Somehow 1,200 some people were crammed into a room big enough for 400. It was weird but as I looked up on stage to see the Music and Drama teacher pull out our schools baby grand piano I knew why they would want to come. It was that last act of the school music festival.

As I turned and looked at Carlise, Esme and Alice I could see that their faces were about to burst with pride and joy, I knew who would be coming on the stage soon. The announcer's voice rang through the speakers, "And now, ladies and gentlemen, on the piano with his own piece called _Come Home. _Ladies and gentlemen, Edward Cullen."

The auditorium burst with sounds of people clapping and whistling, some even dog calling, as Edward walked onto stage. He looked stunning in his black pants and black shirt. He wore a black sports jacket and a white tie that was tinted light blue from the lights shining soft on him. He didn't speak as he took his seat on the bench.

Then the music spoke for him as his hand glided expertly across the keys. The beginning was simple and sweet. He looked like he was the only on in the whole room. The notes weren't caustic or esoteric, but said everything not one of us could put into words.

And then Edward started singing.

"Hello world. Hope you're listening. Forgive me if I'm young for speaking out of turn. There's someone I've been missing, I think that they could be the better half of me. They're in their own place trying to make it right, but I'm tired of justifying."

I've heard Edward sing before, and even though for me to hear him sing is rare, I would recognize his voice anywhere. Edward's voice always seemed like white silk to me, pure, smooth, soft silk. This time is no different.

"So I say you'll... Come home, come home. Cause I've been waiting for you for so long, for so long. And right now there's a war between the vanities, but all I see is you and me. The fight for you is all I've ever known. So come home. Oh."

Listening to Edward sing brought tears to my eyes and goose bumps to my skin.

"I get lost in the beauty of everything I see. The world ain't as half as bad as they paint it to be. If all the sons, if all the daughters stopped to take it in, well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin. It might start now... Yeah. Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud."

I took a quick glance around the room. No one was talking, no one was whispering or on their cellphones texting. No one's attention was diverted. Everyone was watching Edward, all their attention focused on him.

"Until then, come home, come home. Cause I've been waiting for you for so long, for so long. And right now there's a war between the vanities, but all I see is you and me. The fight for you is all I've ever known, ever known. So come home, oh."

Edward was so into the music, so focused on what he was doing and the music that was was playing. He was just as consumed by his music as we were by him. He wasn't playing with his eyes open anymore, they were closed.

"Everything I can't be is everything you should be. And that's why I need you here. I everything I can't be is everything you should be. And that's why I need you. So hear this now. Come home, come home. Cause I've been waiting for you for so long, for so long. Right now there's a war between the vanities and all I need is you and me. The fight for you is all I've ever known, so come home."

The sweet music started to slow and it's effect on us did the opposite.

"Come home."

The song ended as Edward stopped and for a second the whole auditorium was quiet, not a single person having the words to speak.

And then the room erupted in applause. Edward stood up from the bench and bowed. When he came up his eyes met with mine. I was on my feet practically jumping up and down, still wondering how I could be amazed by him and then remembering he was Edward. His green eyes sparkled in the stage lights.

This applause was longer than all the others because this was the first time everyone in town had witnessed Edward's talent, though even if this was Edward's millionth time. When he looked at me it was the first time he smiled all night, his serious facade was over. I'm he was smiling because of the goofy grin that was plastered onto my face.

The announcer's voice seemed somewhat muffled through the speakers this time, "Ladies and gentlemen. _Come Home_ by Edward Cullen." I smiled at his name. "That concludes tonight performance's. On behalf of tonights performances I would like to say thank you for coming and please drive home carefully."

Edward bowed one more time before he came off stage and was engulfed by his fellow townspeople. There were many "way to go, Edwards" and "we love you, Edward", and "Edward, that was phenomenal", but nothing anyone could say would ever to able to match up to what Edward had just done.

Eventually, Edward was able to make his way over to us. Esme couldn't contain her emotions and ran over to hug her son as she had tears streaming down her face. "Absolutely fantastic," She whispered in his ear. After the minute or so she held him Carlise gave him a tight hug and whispered something into his ear. Edward hugged him back and nodded his head. Alice gave Edward a quick little pixie hug and kissed his cheek.

Finally Edward turned to me. I've known my best friend for years, almost since my birth, but I don't think I've ever seen him look like this. When Edward plays for me, which it a rarity, he looks at me with an intense gaze and then smiles his crooked smile. As he stood in front of me he didn't smile this time and for some reason his gaze looked way more intense. Maybe it was because I'd never heard Edward play _Come Home _in full, just little bits, but from the look on his face it seemed like he was expecting something bad to happen.

I pulled Edward into my arms almost immediately and willed with all my power for him to stay there and know that everything was fine. I held him there for as long as I could and when I finally pulled back I barely noticed the room was almost completely empty. I looked him in his shimmering emerald orbs and spoke with all the conviction in my heart, "There aren't the words."

Edward pulled me into another hug squeezing me almost to the point of pain. He let me go after that, but not before kissing me briefly on the cheek. "Thanks," His velvet voice whispered.

Carlise was quick to get the group together. "So dinner anyone?"

The funny part came next because I had looked around the auditorium for them all night and hadn't seen a single glimpse of them until he popped out. "Finally! Someone who understands me!" Emmett practically yelled with Rose and Jasper coming up behind them. Rose tried to smack Emmett at his comment but he was too quick for her probably anticipating her next move. _Smart one, Emmett_.

Jasper looked sheepish, "Emmett, you just ate before we got here." He turned to Edward, "Sorry. Emmett made us stop for food on the way here claiming he was going to die if he didn't get something into his belly soon. We were late and had to stand in the back."

Edward just rolled his eyes and chuckled. Alice walked over to Jaspers side. It's okay. Thanks for making it though," Edward looked at Emmett when the end of his sentence had a sarcastic touch to it. I stifled a laugh.

Everyone agreed and head out to their car before I spoke up. "Thanks for the offer, but Charlie and Renee will be coming home in about an hour. At least I think so. They were supposed to call me when they entered the state but you know them, they just probably forgot. Anyways, I'm sure they're going to want dinner ready for them or Renee might attempt to cook and no one wants that." I smiled at my own joke.

Edward looked at me and I noticed his face fall a little but it was Alice who complained. "Bella, you always make dinner for you family. I think they can survive one night without you. Besides we're supposed to be celebrating with Edward." She gave me a look to try and make me feel guilty and if I wasn't looking at the ground I'm sure it would have.

"Alice, it's okay. Her parents are just getting home from Renee's mothers funeral in Phoenix. I'm sure they're tried from the drive. Plus think of how Renee's feeling. I'm sure she wants her daughter for the night since she hasn't seen her in days." Edward gave Alice the look that said "don't push her" then came over and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "How about I drive you home? I can meet my family at the restaurant."

I was already shaking my head. "I really appreciate that but I'll be fine. It's only ten minutes away. Go and have a nice dinner with you're family."

Edward motioned Alice towards my car and since I was holding my keys in my hand it was fairly easy for her to snatch them up and beat me towards the drivers seat. "Alice will bring your truck home after dinner." I gave him my best sad face, but it must've been more funny than sad cause everyone laughed.

Carlise pet Edward on his shoulder, "We'll meet you at the restaurant, Edward." Then he looked at me, "Thanks for coming Bella. I'm positive it meant a lot to him."

We said our "thank you's" and "goodbye's" before we walked over to the car. Edward opened my door for me as usual and as usual I rolled my eyes. I loved that my best friend was a gentlemen but sometimes it seemed like he went over the top, just a bit. He got in the car and started the drive to my house as _Clair de Lune_ filled the car.

Edward and myself have been best friends for years. When we were young our parents used to joke about getting surgery to remove us from the others hip. Our parents had been friends since before either one of us were born. Renee and Esme went to high school in Phoenix and when they left for the Seattle to go to college they met Carlise and Charlie there.

They were married weeks within each other and when they decided to settle down the found two houses near each other in Forks where they knew they wanted to raise their families. Esme had Edward in June, a year after her and Carlise married, and Renee had me two months later. After Renee brought me home from the hospital I met Edward. We pretty much haven't left each others side since.

When Edward was closer to my house he spoke, "Thanks for coming tonight, Bella. I know you had other things to do since Renee and Charlie are coming home." He reached across the car and gave my hand a gentle squeeze causing electricity flow through me.

"I wouldn't have missed it for anything." And then I squeezed his hand back.

Edwards phone rang and he picked it up without looking at the Caller ID already knowing who it was. "Hello, Alice. Carlise was called into work? Okay. Another night then. Yeah, I'll see you at home." He hung up the phone. "Looks like our dinner has been postponed so you can come after all. There was an emergency at the hospital."

I nodded my head hoping no one was hurt. There wasn't many emergencies in Forks. And that's when everything clicked, the forgotten phone call, the look in Edward's eyes, the emergency at the hospital, when I saw the red and blue flashing lights outside my house.

Edward pulled up outside my house, already a mask of calmness over his face. All of the police that worked for my dad were already outside my house looking like they were waiting for me to get home. I got out of the car slowly, not waiting for Edward to open my door.

I walked over to my house with Edward at my side when Deputy Hale, Jasper and Rosalie's father, came up to me. The look in his eyes immediately told me something was wrong.

"Bella, dear. I'm sorry you have to hear this but there's been an accident. They're on their way to the hospital now." There was no denying who "they" were in his bleak voice.

I felt my heart quicken at an impossible rate. Time seemed to stand still and I didn't even notice that Edward was hugging me from behind, or that tears seemed to be streaming down my face, making my vision blur and darken. I didn't pay attention to the fact that all the breath seemed to be knocked out of my lungs or that the whole Forks Police Department was standing in silence, watching me. Only one thing matter. "They are going to be okay, right?" I desperately asked, looking only for one answer.

I didn't get my answer. "Things aren't looking good."

I seemed to succumb to the blackened abyss.

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_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh  
Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't what you really need__  
Oh, can u see what I see  
**Stop and Stare, by OneRepublic**_

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_Authors Note: Thank you everyone for reading. I worked really hard on this first chapter and I hoped it turned out well.  
Please let me know what you think by _**REVIEWING**_ so I know whether or not to continue with it. I love you all so much!_

**foreversleepless**


	2. Mercy

**Disclaimer**: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters nor do I own any of the songs that make their way through my stories. Everything is inspired by OneRepublic and Stephenie Meyer.

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Dreaming Out Loud

Chapter 2 – Mercy

Soundtrack – Mercy, by OneRepublic

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**Previously**: _I walked over to my house with Edward at my side when Deputy Hale, Jasper and Rosalie's father, came up to me. The look in his eyes immediately told me something was wrong._

_"Bella, dear. I'm sorry you have to hear this but there's been an accident. They're on their way to the hospital now." There was no denying who "they" were in his bleak voice._

_I felt my heart quicken at an impossible rate. Time seemed to stand still and I didn't even notice that Edward was hugging me from behind, or that tears seemed to be streaming down my face, making my vision blur and darken. I didn't pay attention to the fact that all the breath seemed to be knocked out of my lungs or that the whole Forks Police Department was standing in silence, watching me. Only one thing matter. "They are going to be okay, right?" I desperately asked, looking only for one answer._

_I didn't get my answer. "Things aren't looking good."_

_I seemed to succumb to the blackened abyss._

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When I woke up next I heard familiar whispers of my friends. "Thanks for the food Esme. I'll do my best to see that she eats it." Edward whispered. I barely heard the clinking of cups being set down and a door softly closing as Esme left.

I tried moving my body when I felt the absolute soreness, almost pain, throughout my whole body. I felt weight shift and I realized I was laying down on a bed that normally would have been comfortable, but the soreness in my limbs negated the effect. It must have been Edward's bed I was lying in. There was not denying the irresistible smell that is Edward.

I opened my eyes heavy eye lids slowly when I looked an noticed it was night. "What time is it?" I heard my groggy voice ask.

If felt the bed move unnaturally and knew my voice must have made Edward jump. "Twenty till midnight," He half-spoke, half-whispered.

"How long have I been asleep?" I sat up slowly, feeling all my muscles pull on each other. For some odd reason my right hurt more than my left.

"About sixteen hours," He said even quieter. The new shocked me a little bit but I didn't react to it like I normally would. Instead I lifted my hand wondering why it hurt to keep my eyes open. I reached up to touch my right eye and it was swollen. Then it hit me.

Flashbacks of flashing red and blue lights, Mr. Hale's face, Edward practically screaming my name in fear, the white walls of Forks Hospital, Carlise shaking his head while tears freely fell down his face.

It felt like the wind was beat out me. My lungs wouldn't take in any air and I felt my body start to rack with violent shakes. It shook my head hear as if to lose any memory and block out the unendurable pain. I felt Edward move to hug me to his body. I'm not sure how my body could create tears anymore all I know is a clung to Edward and weeped for the loss of life, loss of love and loss of happiness. I sobbed for my parents and for myself.

Edward didn't seem aware that I was staining his shirt with my tears, or he just didn't care. He held me as tight as he could while I cried myself out. Sometime during the night my weeping stopped and I fell into a dreamless sleep. It was as close to numbness I could find.

I woke up the next morning, doing everything I could not to remember the night before. My whole body shook with pain whenever I made the slightest movement, almost as if I was hit by a ten ton truck. The room was pitch black, the curtains closed, so I couldn't see a thing. I moved my head to the right and was faced with a lovely sight. Edward was sleeping next to me, shirtless, my face inches from his.

Ever since I was little I would spend the night here. Our parents, being great friends, would visit until the late hours of the night. By then Edward and I would have fallen asleep on the couch, right next to each other. As we grew older things didn't change much. Alice had come along and by then the two of us were great friends, though nothing like Edward and me. There were never any friends like Edward and me.

Alice and I would stay up until the late hours of the night watch Johnny Depp movies and eat bowls of Chunky Monkey Ice Cream, never knowing how we maintained our figures. Then when Alice fell asleep I would sneak from her room down to hall to Edwards and sleep there. Esme and Carlise knew where I slept but never said anything. Everyone knew nothing ever happened, Edward and I were best friends. Nothing more... At night back then I would stay awake just to watch Edward sleep. He always slept so peacefully, so beautiful. To watch him was like watching the most perfect, glorious angel sleep. Amazing.

So to wake up to Edward's beautiful face two inches from my own was nothing new, though he always stole my breath away. Tonight Edward didn't look as at peace as he normally slept. Even in sleep he looked exhausted, his face looked harden, his hair was all over the place, was covering his eyes so I pushed it away. The pain that shot through my arm was worth it. I winced.

I watched Edward's face loosen the tiniest bit and then resumed my gaze on Edward. Eventually the slow and steady movement of Edward's chest moving up and down as he breathed could no longer distract me from the pain in my limbs. So with as little movement as possible I swung my legs off the bed, biting my lip to keep from crying in pain. Edward didn't stir. I got up from the bed and walked over to Edwards bathroom, trying to keep from making too much noise.

I walked into the bathroom and reached to open the medicine cabinet before shutting the door and turning on the light. I pulled out some headache medicine and shut the cabinet. I turned on the sink and bent down to drink the water streaming out of it to wash down the medicine. When I stood back up to leave I caught a glimpse of someone in the mirror. My heart stopped.

I looked back and it took a moment to realize that the almost unrecognizable person in the mirror was myself. I looked away quickly. I didn't want to see down sleep deprived I was even though I practically slept a whole day. I didn't want to see how swollen my eyes still were from crying so much. I didn't want to see the after effect, to be reminded more. I didn't need my own reflection to haunt me... My memories already were.

As I went to take on more sip of water before bed, my elbow hit the light switch making the light flicker. The red and blue lights came flashing back again. I hit my head on the medicine cabinet. "Ow!" I yelped the covered my mouth, but it was too late.

"Bella?" Edward asked sleepily from his bed. When I didn't answer his voice became more panicked, "Bella?!"

"In here," I tried to quietly call out. I turned off the bathroom light, not wanting to look at my reflection for reminders and went back to his room. Edward was sitting up, looking like he was about to jump out of it to look for me. "I'm right here," I whispered.

Edward didn't say anything. Instead he opened his arms for me to crawl into as he encircled me in them. When I was a little girl Edwards arms were the only place where I felt safe, secure, and whole. I don't know why but even now when I was in his arms, knowing that this was the only place were I could feel those feelings, it amazed me how this angel made into my best friend could make me feel this.

"Thanks," I managed to whisper as I curled up next to him, with my nose touching his chest, inhaling his delectable scent. His smell was the only thing that ever chased away my nightmares, though tonight I doubted anything could do that.

"Of course." Edward pulled me to him tighter, making my soreness known. I didn't mind. Any amount of pain was worth it to be like this in these little moments with him. Well almost any pain.

"Goodnight, Edward." I mumbled, sleepily. How I could sleep anymore was beyond me.

Edward chuckled. "Goodnight, Bella," He breathed into my hair, "dream sweet dreams."

I tried but all I could dream of was flashing red and blue lights.

I woke up around sunrise, barely able to sleep any longer. I was still encased in Edwards arms but I could tell from his face that he still needed his sleep. So once again I took up the job of watching him sleep, watching breathe in and out. Periodically I would brush the hair from his face, but I didn't want to move too much for fear of waking him.

I could have laid there forever, but there was a knock at the door. Esme came in with a tray of food. I pretended to be asleep, not really wanting to talk to anyone else. All Esme did was set the new food down, and took the old untouched food away. Only then did it dawn on me that Edward wasn't eating either, probably waiting for me.

I tried to gently wriggle my way out of his embrace even though I hated to, but all my efforts were wasted as Edward tightened his grip and woke up. "Where do you think you're going?" His drowsy voice asked. I don't think he was fully awake, and that was good; it worked to my advantage.

I barely giggled, and it felt weird to do, felt almost painful to do. Physically painful, well yes, but more than that. It sounded odd too, sounded like it was on the brink of fake. I hoped Edward was too far asleep to pick that up. "Where do you think I'm going?" I asked and even my voice was a little of, a little... flat.

Edward's arms tightened around me even more. "Nowhere," He yawned.

He didn't have to tell me twice, I would stay anywhere as long as Edward was there. Only my stomach decided it was time to make its presence known. "Sorry," I mumbled, completely content in Edwards arms.

But for some reason the tiny noise my stomach made seemed to bring Edward to the present. His beautiful emerald eyes blinked open, and he started to sit up, untangling himself from me. I sat where I was as he got out of the bed, grabbed the hot breakfast, and handed me mine.

I took a small bite. Esme had prepared my own personal favorite meal; chocolate chip pancakes with bacon and hash browns. Let's just say I never got to have it at my own home. _Home._

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked, his food still untouched.

I put my fork down and pushed my plate away. "Nothing, just not that hungry, is all," I mumbled. I swung my legs off the bed. "I think I'm going to take a shower." Edward didn't argue.

I walked into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes, trying my best to not remember the day I put them on, and failing. I could feel a small dark hole making an opening in my chest. I got in and turned the shower on scolding hot like I was trying to burn away any and all memories. It didn't work.

I couldn't bear to stand up anymore and it had nothing to do with the boiling water that fell on me and had everything to do with the memories I couldn't keep at bay. My knees gave in and I fell to the floor. I tried to keep my broken, uncontrollable sobs quiet. Edward didn't need to hear this, he'd heard enough.

I don't know how long I was balled up there crying, but when I felt that I was in some control of myself I washed myself and got out. I was done sobbing, but I couldn't get the water in my eyes to corporate well. Eventually there seemed to be no more water in my body to secrete tears so I was finally able to wrap myself in a towel. Then I realized that I didn't bring in any clothes in with me so I would have to sneak around Edward.

I peek through the door that connected from Edwards bathroom to his bedroom and I recognized that he had left, probably gone downstairs to see his family. However there was a set of comfortable jeans and a white t-shirt on his bed waiting for me. _Alice_.

I quickly put them on as I could feel the dark hole widening, as it always did when I was away from Edward. Only this time it was different. Before the hole itself was just a tiny spot near my heart that made me miss Edward uncontrollably. Before I could deal with the hole, ignore it, and sometimes even forget it. Now, the hole started out bigger than normally and it just kept getting bigger. I no longer just missed Edward, I needed Edward and I couldn't ignore or forget it. It was almost impossible to deal with.

I brushed my hair quickly, preferring the physical pain of removing hair knots over the hole in my chest. When I felt I looked somewhat decent I all but ran downstairs. I found the Cullens scattered around the house along with Jasper and Rose. Esme was in her studio working on designs for her next house. Carlise was in his office going over some case studies. Alice and Jasper were out on the patio, snuggled close together and Rose in Emmett were out in the garage working on his Jeep. I kept a low profile while searching for Edward. I did _not_ want to talk.

I found Edward in the Library, sitting at his piano. He wasn't playing the piano, and since his back was to me all I could see was his sheet music, blank. I came up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Working on a new piece, Mozart?" I joked.

He let out a breathy chuckle and put his arm around my waist, pulling down next to him. "Something like that." He pulled me close to him then brought his hands to the keys. He began to play a few simple chords, making sweet and wonderful music, "I want you to hear something."

Edward stopped playing the chords and bent over next to the piano to pick up his acoustic guitar. He took a deep breath and began.

The song first started out with a couple short and sweet notes that repeated. Then he began to sing.

"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? Where did you read my story? Pulled from the papers, desperate and hardened, seeking a momentary fix. All I wanted to say, all I wanted to do is fall apart now. All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love. Its all my fault now. A Tragedy I fear."

The first simple notes Edward started out with were repeated throughout the whole song. They lead up to the chorus.

"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me? Why am I on my feet again? And I see you! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Fortress of daylight, come and I stand by. Waiting to catch the quickest plane. Fly me to nowhere, Is better than somewhere. That's where I've been and nothings changed."

Edward sang with his eyes closed, having memorized the chords to his new song. His voice was amazingly smooth and velvety. I was dazzled.

"All I wanted to say, all I wanted to do is fall apart now. All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love. Its all my fault now. A Tragedy for sure. Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me? Why am I on my feet again? And I see you! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm so lost in you. A tragedy seemed to be over now. A tragedy it seemed to be over now. Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me? Why am I on my feet again? And I see you! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you. Oh Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you. Oh Oh Oh."

Edward finished with his song before he opened his eyes. I had tears in my own eyes, and some down my face. Edward set his guitar back on its stand as I pulled him close to me. I rested my head against his chest so he couldn't see me crying, although he could probably feel my tears. Edwards heartbeat was like an instrument all it's own, something musically wonderful. So when we said music was in his heart, well we weren't kidding.

We held each other as tight as we could for as long as we could before there was a knock at the door. Carlise was standing in the doorway. "Edward, Bella. We're having lunch in a few minutes. Esme's already set a place for you two. Why don't you come on?" Carlise left the room without a word from us, wanting us to follow him.

We got up silently and left the room, me following Edward. Everyone was already at the dining room table waiting for us. Edward and I sat next to each other before Carlise said prayer. Esme had prepared another favorite of mine, homemade macaroni and cheese, steak and corn. I think they were seducing me with food.

The atmosphere around the table was somewhat tense but that was easily erased with Emmett nearby. "Yes! Mackycheeeeseeee! My favoriteeeee!" Emmett literally picked up the giant salad bowl full of macaroni and made his plate a mountain with it. Nobody could keep from laughing.

"Emmett!" Esme practically yelled. "Save some for the rest of us!"

Emmett stopped halfway through shoveling it into his mouth to whine, "But mommy!"

Everyone around the table laughed.

"Just finish with what's on your plate, alright?" She said sternly. More laughs.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want you upset your _mommy,_ now would we Emmy?" Jasper asked mockily.

Emmett's face turned red. Instead of saying anything he grabbed the spoon from the bowl and put another big amount of macaroni on his plate. "Emmett!" Esme yelled. Jasper snickered.

"But mom!" Emmett whined some more.

"No 'buts'! You better eat everything on your plate and you're cleaning up after lunch." Jasper burst out laughing. "You too Jasper." Jasper immediately stopped laughing. No one else did.

Lunch went by in a blur of playful banter. Jasper vs. Emmett, highly entertaining. By the end of lunch Jasper and Emmett were ready for a wrestling match. Typical lunch. After lunch was over and everyone was leaving Carlise called Edward and I back to the table. "Edward. Bella, there's something we need to talk about. Would you mind sitting back down?"

It wasn't really an option. Carlise sat at the head of the table with Esme to his right and Edward and I to his left. "Bella, I know this is a really hard time for you and I know you don't want to talk about it, but there are some things that need to be discussed." I nodded even though I was completely dreading for what was to come next. "In your parents will they left us as your sole guardians, just as they were for Alice, Edward and Emmett. But since you're almost eighteen you can be recognized as a legal adult if that is your wish. Now you know you are more than welcome to stay here and live with us, I think we'd actually prefer it but if you would like to live on you're own well... it's your choice."

I didn't even have to think. "I'd like to stay here," I whispered.

Carlise must have heard me. "We will clean out the extra bedroom for you but it's going to take a couple of days so until then you can continue sleeping where you were." Carlise smiled.

I did not. "Is that all?" I asked, really wanting to get out of here as much as I could.

Carlise sighed, recognizing my pain. "There just one more thing. We're planning the funeral so you don't have to worry about it, but if you want to help us-"

I cut him off, "No, no. That's okay. I trust you both. You were after all best friends." I did everything I could to not look at Esme. "Thank you, but I really have to go." And with that said I ran out of the room as fast as I could only hearing Edward call my name.

* * *

_Angel of Mercy, how did you find me?__  
Where did you read my story?__  
Pulled from the papers, desperate and hardened,  
Seeking a momentary fix. All I wanted to say,  
All I wanted to do is fall apart now.  
All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love.  
Its all my fault now. A Tragedy I fear.  
**Mercy, by OneRepublic**_

* * *

**Thank you so much for continuing to read. I know the waits been long. I'm leaving  
for Florida on July 1st (Wednesday) so hopefully I'll be cranking out some more  
chapters down there (people who have read my stories previously might understand  
that better than others). Oh... and **PLEASE REVIEW! :P


	3. All Fall Down

**Disclaimer**: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters nor do I own any of the songs that make their way through my stories. Everything is inspired by OneRepublic and Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Dreaming Out Loud

Chapter 3 – All Fall Down

Soundtrack – All Fall Down, by OneRepublic

* * *

**Previously**: _"Edward. Bella, there's something we need to talk about. Would you mind sitting back down?"_

_It wasn't really an option. Carlise sat at the head of the table with Esme to his right and Edward and I to his left. "Bella, I know this is a really hard time for you and I know you don't want to talk about it, but there are some things that need to be discussed." I nodded even though I was completely dreading for what was to come next. "In your parents will they left us as your sole guardians, just as they were for Alice, Edward and Emmett. But since you're almost eighteen you can be recognized as a legal adult if that is your wish. Now you know you are more than welcome to stay here and live with us, I think we'd actually prefer it but if you would like to live on you're own well... it's your choice."_

_I didn't even have to think. "I'd like to stay here," I whispered._

_Carlise must have heard me. "We will clean out the extra bedroom for you but it's going to take a couple of days so until then you can continue sleeping where you were." Carlise smiled._

_I did not. "Is that all?" I asked, really wanting to get out of here as much as I could._

_Carlise sighed, recognizing my pain. "There just one more thing. We're planning the funeral so you don't have to worry about it, but if you want to help us-"_

_I cut him off, "No, no. That's okay. I trust you both. You were after all best friends." I did everything I could to not look at Esme. "Thank you, but I really have to go." And with that said I ran out of the room as fast as I could only hearing Edward call my name._

* * *

I ran as fast a I could for as long as I could and although it didn't seem like it, I did have a destination in mind. A place I'd been to many times before. I knew how to get there well whereas someone who didn't know where to go, tried to follow me would only get lost.

I ran through the forest in the Cullens backyard, following the familiar trees and paths that were marked. I ran all the way there, but because I am Isabella Marie Swan, tripping and falling was a constant thing. As I ran I did my best to keep the thoughts, the emotions, the _memories_ at bay. I did not want to bare the pain of lost love anymore and if that meant losing all emotion together for the sake of peace, it would be worth it.

I wanted to become numb, apathetic. I loved them so much, and to lose them in a matter of minutes was unbearable. I just couldn't handle it. Not now. As I ran I realized the hole in my chest had blown wide open. I made the mistake of running from Edward instead of running to him and now I paid the price.

Numbness didn't take over me as I wished. Instead anxiety took its place. I needed Edward, more than I thought possible, but still I kept running. I was almost there; I could see the break in the trees up ahead, the light there.

Just a few more steps and I was there. I looked at my surroundings, nothing had changed. Everything was just as exquisitely beautiful and natural as it was the last time I was here. It seemed like a lifetime ago. The grass was a rich green color, and the surrounding trees formed an almost perfect circle. I had found our meadow, Edward's and mine.

Only Edward still wasn't here, and although this meadow, our meadow, was a place where I'd always found peace I was only able to find that peace with Edward by my side.

I dropped to my knees, tears cascading from my eyes, and rolling on my side. I curled up in a ball, begging for the numbness, the lack of emotion, anything that would take away this unbearable pain. I couldn't, wouldn't move from the ball, even when the nagging pain in my back begged otherwise. Time seemed immeasurable in the meadow as I laid there and silently cried until I fell asleep, no doubt that my crying continued.

Somewhere between the sweet breeze off the trees and the calming splashing of the nearby creek came the nearby sounds of laughter and happiness. The sun was kissing the trees in the west and I saw two people laying in the meadow. One was a beautiful girl who couldn't be older than twenty. She was dressed in a long flowing, pure white gown. Her silky brown hair was pulled back in soft curls with tiny crystals pinned throughout her hair. Her make up was subtle, natural and amazingly beautiful. Her eyes sparkled and matched the stunning sterling silver "I Love You" heart pendent she wore around her neck. Her head was lain on a man's chest who was wearing an all black tux, and as she moved to look up at him I saw his face. It was handsome and striking and perfect. It was the face of a Gods.

And the face of Edward's.

He looked down at the girl with a look of admiration and love and respect. A look I never saw in his eyes before. He bent down and whispered something in the girls ear which made her giggle in return and snuggle closer to his chest. Edward bent down and kissed her hair and she sighed in content, closed her eyes, and reached up to grasped her pendent. As she did so I caught a glimpse of the most beautiful ring on her ring finger.

It was a simple sterling silver ring with a elegant, small diamond placed on it that sparkled in the twilight hour. On the back of the right, there seemed to be some words engraved into it but it was too small to make out. I watched Edward pull her closer as I was pulled from the dream by the sweet, tickle feeling that caressed my face.

As I tried to pull myself out of my drowsy stupor to figure out where I was, I was momentarily stunned by the dream I had had. Edward was incredibly happy with another woman in our meadow. I woke up, sitting up way too fast trying to breath while fighting the unbelievable force of jealously and sadness for myself mixed with happiness for my best friend and the dizziness that came with rising too quickly.

"Bella?" A sweet, panicked voice asked. "Bella! What's wrong?"

I identified the voice easily as I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my head there, breathing in and out slowly, trying to calm my erratic heart beat. It couldn't be done on it's own. I think Edward knew that as he put a sedative hand on my back.

"It was just a dream," He said, as he rubbed comforting circles in my back. "A dream." I took a deep breath trying to aid the effort. It took a moment or two but we seemed to get my heart rate back down to a fairly normal pace.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked, grateful that he had found me.

He suppressed a light chuckle, though I could feel it run through his body. I guess it was his way of saying, "Where else would you go?" Despite it being dark outside and myself being completely freezing, I couldn't help but smile. His silent answer was right. Where else would I go?

The realization of what that actually meant instantly sobered my mood. Besides the Cullens house, and this breathtaking meadow I have nowhere else to go. No real safe haven. Not anymore.

This time I held back my emotions and the tears the threatened to escape. I wouldn't breakdown anymore. I wouldn't runaway. I would deal with what was happening best I could. And I would do it for the Cullens, for Edward, because they didn't need me running out when all they were doing was trying to help. I would stay no matter how much it hurt.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, surprised that he was able to hear me.

"Almost ten."

I sighed and started to stand up. God knows what time it is, and I didn't want to worry Esme and Carlise anymore. "Where are you going?" Edward asked.

"Back to your house." I responded, unable to call it 'home'.

Edward stood up but reached for my hand, keeping me from taking another step forward. "We can stay here longer, if you want. Carlise and Esme won't mind."

I turned and looked at him. I knew better than to think he was lying, he won't lie to me. "Are you sure?" As bad as I felt for running out on Carlise and Esme the way I did, I knew I wanted to stay here, badly. I wanted to spend time alone with my best friend in our meadow, to stare at the stars.

To try and forget.

Edward sat down, pulling me down with him. He laid in the rich green grass as I rested my head on his chest. I had a flashback from my earlier dream, where Edward was in _our _ meadow with another girl laying with him like I was now. Only in my dream they were happy.

I shook my head to clear the thoughts, not wanting to go down a dark pathway. I wanted Edward to be happy, because if anyone in the whole world merits happiness that person would be Edward. Besides, it was just a dream anyway, though the thought that I might someday lose Edward to someone else, made me feel wrong. Selfishly, I wanted to keep him for myself. And that felt wrong, too.

"Edward?" I could barely hear myself talking.

"Yes, Bella?"

After seventeen years of friendship, I felt ridiculous asking this question, "Will you always be my best friend?" I could feel my cheeks heat up. Even at seventeen years of age, even being a few months shy of eighteen, I needed to know the answer.

Edward sat up and looked me square in the eye. His emerald eyes showed the depth of all this emotions. It showed his sincerity, his intensity, and his honesty. "Always." He spoke up conviction.

"Always?" I asked, still a little unsure.

He chuckled, lightening the mood. "And forever."

I took a deep breath and then a tiny, giggle escaped me as relief flooded through me. "Always and forever." Edward smiled and laid back down, humming the familiar song "_Mercy_" he had sung for me that very day, believe it or not. I continued to rest my head on his chest, breathing in his delectable scent. I did my best to keep my thoughts from anything other than Edward, and I soon realized that was an easy thing to do. I listened to his steady strong heart beats, as I let memories of us flood my memory.

_My earliest m__emory of us is when we were around four years old. Our parents had taken us to the park. Emmett, who was five at the time, and Alice, who was three, were chasing each other around. Our parents were sitting a hundred yards away, talking and keeping an eye on us._

_Edward and I were laying down, just like we were now, in the grass and picking dandelions. We didn't talk much as we were just content with each others presence like we are now. I could hear lawn mowers off in the distance, tiny babies crying, and Alice screaming while Emmett chased her everywhere. But I wasn't paying much attention to them. Instead I had something on my mind._

_"Edward, why does everybody hate dandelions?" I asked._

_Edward spoke in his most serious voice, causing me to giggle. "The dandelion is a perennial, herbaceous plant with long, lance-shaped leaves. They're so deeply toothed, they gave the plant its name in Old French: Dent-de-lion means lion's tooth in Old French. Most gardeners detest them, but the more you try to weed them up, the faster they grow."_

_"What does all that mean?" I asked, throughly confused._

_"They're weeds, and look bad."_

_"Oh."_

_Just then Alice came running by with Emmett chasing her. They ran around Edward and I a couple times while I heard Alice chanting, "Roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty... But what happened to you?" I couldn't help but laugh at they're antics._

_Emmett seemed to be completely irritated because he was unable to catch Alice so he made a quick jump over Edward's knees, just barely missing him. I sat up straight as Alice squealed and hid behind me saying, "My best friend, Bella, will protect me!"_

_Emmett made a lunge for Alice, with myself in front of her, and even though I know I love the girl I couldn't risk getting pummeled by Emmett. I screamed and jumped over on Edward while Emmett tackled Alice._

_"BELLA!" Alice screamed at the top of her lungs. In the distance I could hear our parents and Edward laughing. I was shocked, my eyes opened wide._

_"What did I do?! Emmett's the one who tackled you! Be mad at him, not me!" Alice pushed Emmett off her. How? Even to this day I could not tell you how. Emmett fell back on his butt as Alice marched over and pointed at me._

_She turned her enraged face on me. "You were supposed to protect me! Now Emmett won cause you wouldn't protect me!" Her expression changed. She looked like she would cry. "I thought you were my best friend!"_

_I got up and ran over to Alice, pulling her into a hug. "Of course I'm you're best friend. I'm sorry, but if I had protected you, you would have a squashed best friend!" Alice giggled at my poor attempt at a joke._

_"Okay, Bella. You're still my best friend."_

_Emmett got up, still trying hard not to laugh. "Well now that that's all settled...," He got a mischievous look in his eyes. Alice squealed and ran over the to jungle gym as their chase started again._

_Edward laid back down in the grass, as he had before. I didn't because something was on my mind. _

_"Edward," I asked, feeling no shame for asking this._

_"Yes, Bella?"_

_"I know I'll always be Alice's best friend, but will you always be my best friend?" I looked down, feeling incredibly nervous, waiting for his answer. Back then, this was a life or death issue._

_Instead of hearing Edward laughing at me like I was expecting, he sat up and looked me in the eye, giving me his most serious face. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Always."_

_I smiled, happiness running through me. "Always?" I asked._

_He chuckled, probably due to the ridiculous look I'm sure was on my face. "And forever." I giggled a little too, as Edward laid down with myself resting on his chest. Emmett was still chasing Alice, our parents were off in the distance talking gibberish, someone was still cutting the grass, and the world went on. But I couldn't help but think about Edward's answer. _Always and forever.

I was brought back to the present, still laying on Edward's chest and still listening to his heart beat. It was soothing, so much so that I could feel myself falling asleep. I wasn't worried though, because as long as I have Edward by my side I wouldn't have any nightmares. "Edward? I just wanted to say thank you for staying with me. I don't know what I would do without you."

I heard him take a deep breath. Then he said in his most sincere voice, "You're welcome, Bella." He paused. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what. There's nothing you could do that could push me away. We all fall down, but I'll always be here to pick you back up. Always."

I was almost asleep, but I heard every word Edward said causing me to smile. "Always and forever."

* * *

_God love your soul and your aching bones  
Take a breath, take a step, maybe down below  
Everyone's the same  
My fingers to my toes  
We just can't get a ride  
But we're on the road_

_If ever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
Whenever your world starts crashing down  
That's when you'll find me._

_Lost till you're found  
Swim till you drown  
Know that we all fall down  
Love till you hate  
Jump till you break  
__Know that we all fall down**  
All Fall Down, by OneRepublic**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Thanks for all your support and paitence. I hope you liked chapter three.  
I'll do my best to update soon but school starts next week so I'm not sure  
when I'll be able to. **

**BTW, Did anyone see the new Star Wars and Terminator movies? I thought  
they were pretty cool! And what about the Transformers movie? I give it  
five stars!!! Let me know what you think!**

**ALL THE PICTURES OF THE DRESS, RING & PENDENT ARE ON MY PROFILE!  
**


	4. Something Ain't Right Here

**Disclaimer**: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters nor do I own any of the songs that make their way through my stories. Everything is inspired by OneRepublic and Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Dreaming Out Loud

Chapter 4 – Something Ain't Right Here

Soundtrack – Something Ain't Right Here, OneRepublic

* * *

**Previously**: "Edward," I asked, feeling no shame for asking this.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I know I'll always be Alice's best friend, but will you always be my best friend?" I looked down, feeling incredibly nervous, waiting for his answer. Back then, this was a life or death issue.

Instead of hearing Edward laughing at me like I was expecting, he sat up and looked me in the eye, giving me his most serious face. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Always."

I smiled, happiness running through me. "Always?" I asked.

He chuckled, probably due to the ridiculous look I'm sure was on my face. "And forever." I giggled a little too, as Edward laid down with myself resting on his chest. Emmett was still chasing Alice, our parents were off in the distance talking gibberish, someone was still cutting the grass, and the world went on. But I couldn't help but think about Edward's answer._ Always and forever._

_I was brought back to the present, still laying on Edward's chest and still listening to his heart beat. It was soothing, so much so that I could feel myself falling asleep. I wasn't worried though, because as long as I have Edward by my side I wouldn't have any nightmares. "Edward? I just wanted to say thank you for staying with me. I don't know what I would do without you."_

_I heard him take a deep breath. Then he said in his most sincere voice, "You're welcome, Bella." He paused. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what. There's nothing you could do that could push me away. We all fall down, but I'll always be here to pick you back up. Always."_

_I was almost asleep, but I heard every word Edward said causing me to smile. "Always and forever."_

* * *

_Two weeks later..._

There was a knock at my door. "Bella, honey. Edward and Alice are ready." Esme practically whispered through my door.

"Okay."

Today is my first day back since the accident that took my parents lives. I winced, trying my best not to think about it. Since then I've been living with the wonderfully gracious Cullen's. I was always caught sweeping, doing my own laundry, dusting, doing dishes, and making meals. Part of it was because I refused to live here without earning my keep and maybe in the end I did it to keep busy, to keep my mind off dangerous subjects.

It didn't take long before the spare bedroom was cleared. Esme did most of the work because she practically refused to let me help her. Two days later the room was cleared and decorated for me by Esme. She had painted the all the walls a lighter tan color, almost gold, with the exception of one. The last wall she painted a beautiful dark green I picked out myself because Esme made me doing something and it reminded me of Edward's eyes, though I'd never in a million years tell him that.

Esme and Alice went shopping for my room even though I kept insisting I needed nothing more. The went out and purchased a modern chocolate brown bedroom set. On the walls were pictures of Alice Edward and I, pictures of Jasper and Rose together on Christmas, a picture of Emmett in his Santa suit. There were even some pictures of the guys at their baseball games, and others of us at Halloween last year. All the those pictures were smaller ones that outlined the main picture in my room.

The picture was a huge 24" x 18" photo of everyone I've ever cared about including my mother and father. I remember the picture being taken near Seattle on one of our many family trips. Of course the Cullen's and the Hale's were with us as we hiked up the trails. The fight to reach the top of the mountain trail seemed endless but in due time we made and let me tell you the view the worth it. Alice announced it was time for pictures and so we all gather up together while Alice found a rock for the camera and set the timer.

The the back row stood Carlise and Esme Cullen, John and Sylvia Hale, and Charlie and Renee Swan, my parents. In front of the parents stood Emmett and Alice, and Rose and Jasper. On a nearby rock to the right sat Edward and I. The picture always brings back my favorite memories.

As I shut the door to my room I took on last look around it. Everything was neat and clean and in it's place. The room looks as though anyone hardly lives in it. There were no clothes on the floor, nothing cluttering the dressers in my room, and my bed was made. It felt odd, almost alien. The first night my room was ready I thanked the Cullen's so much, mostly Esme and Alice for putting all their time and effort into it. And although I had been spending every night beforehand sleeping in Edward's room I tried my best to spend the night alone in my room that night.

The new mattress was comfortable but not slept in yet, and the comforter didn't smell right, let alone smell like Edward. I tossed and turned when I was finally able to sleep and sometime around four in the morning I found Edward standing in my doorway, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. We just stood there looking at each other until Edward came over and took my hand. "Come on," he said and took me into his room.

He tucked me under the covers and laid down next to me, taking me into his arms. Within seconds I was asleep. I still haven't been able to sleep in my own bed yet.

I shut my door lightly, ran down the steps and in the process tripping over my own feet just a few steps from the first floor. Just as I was about to brace myself for a couple broken bones, maybe a few cracked vertebrae, my guardian angel caught me at the last moment a steadied us both.

I looked up into Edwards face and was dazzled by his crooked smile. "Thanks, Edward," I said breathlessly. He gave my arm a squeeze and back up to take his car keys. "Bye, Esme," He called into the kitchen.

"Have a good day a school!" She answered back. Alice was already waiting in the car, and for God knows what reason, was sitting in the back seat.

"Front seat," Edward directed as he opened the door for me. I rolled my eyes. The Volvo was filled with sounds of classical music and a protesting Alice all the way to school. Edward refused to change the music. As soon as we pulled into Edward's parking space, Alice jumped out of the car so fast I didn't even see her run off the Jasper.

Edward cut the engine and we sat in silence for a moment, neither of us wanting to move. I sighed. "You sure you're ready?" Edward asked cautiously.

I nodded my head but didn't say a word. "Let's go then."

Edward walked over and opened my door. He took my books from my hands and handed me my backpack. He walked close to me with his arm around my shoulder, as if to protect me. He walked me to our first class, thank God we had almost all our classes together and the two classed we didn't I had with either Alice or Emmett.

The people of this tiny town would stop gossiping abruptly and look at us as we passed. Some would say "I'm sorry for your loss", while others ask "How are you doing?" and I would answer with the vague lie "Fine". And the rest would just stare at Edward and I as we walked down the hall, possibly glaring. Most of the people staring were girls.

I looked up at Edward and he smiled at me. I guess to outside spectators it would seem that Edward and I were dating. We are always with one another, we always seem to be touching each other one way or another, I live with his family, but for us that is just natural. We've always been like that and it seems silly to change now.

I turned my attention away from the envious girls. It doesn't matter what they think. Edward and I are completely, absolutely best friends and nothing will ever change that.

Nobody said anything as we took our seats next to each other in Calculus, but it was the way people kept looking at me that was driving me insane. Their looks we so full a pity for me. I grabbed one of my notebooks and began doodling random objects on the back of it. Mr. Varner began class when Edward slipped me a note.

"_You okay?"_ It said in his incredible handwriting.

"I'm fine,"I began to write when he gave me a look that said 'I known better'.

"_I'm just sick of the looks people have been giving me. They think I'm pitiful. I don't know how I'm going to survive this all day_," I wrote.

I passed it back to Edward and his response was to look in my eyes and give my knee a quick, gentle squeeze. "Mr. Cullen?" Apparently Mr. Varner asked a question we hadn't heard.

Edward didn't look away from me as he answered, "Squeeze Principal, Mr. Varner." That seemed to be a sufficient answer enough because for the rest of the class Mr. Varner left us alone. It seemed to take forever for the bell to ring and by the time it did I had completely fill up the back of my notebook with doodles and was working on the second.

Edward chuckled a little at the sight of my notebooks. "Ready?" He asked.

The only difference between the people that were staring at us this morning verses the people that are staring at us now is there might be more. I could feel my resolve to come back to school weakening by the second, but I kept on trudging through the halls until English. The good thing about Calculus is that there's nobody in there besides Edward and myself. True that this is Forks meaning everyone here knows everybody else, but there wasn't anyone in there that I talk to on a fairly normal basis. Jessica and Lauren are in my English class, and while Jessica and I are somewhat friends, Lauren absolutely hates me. Maybe it's because Tyler Crowley asked me to the Spring Formal last week, or because Mike Newton brought me soup instead of going to her volleyball game, but I think it's mostly because Edward is almost always by my side, one way or another.

And Lauren has always been trying to get with Edward. Always.

This is probably my least favorite class and my favorite at the same time. As much as I love reading, a literature, and Jane Austen, I can hardly stand the Lauren Jessica combo. I kept my gaze down while sitting in my seat, trying to become invisible. Unfortunately, that didn't turn out too well.

"Hey Bella!" Jessica ran over to my seat and gave me a hug. "I'm so sorry about your parents! I can't even imagine what I would do if my parents ever died. I probably wouldn't be able to go on much less go to school tod- Oh, hi Edward."Jessica, always so energetic, never really knows what she's saying.

And of course where ever Jessica goes, Lauren isn't too far behind. "Hello, Bella."

I tried to force a smile, "Hello, Lauren."

She looked over at Edward while trying to keep the longing out of her eyes. "How's it going?"

I shrugged, not willing to talk about it with anyone, especially Lauren. Luckily, Mr. Gilbert called the class to sit down. I was extremely grateful. I don't know how much more of Jessica's questions I could handle. My next two classes seemed to go by fairly fast up until lunch, even if the last one was one of my classes without Edward.

The line for food was short, partly because I got there so fast and partly because Emmett was standing beside me in his intimidating ways. Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Rose were already waiting at the table for us. Emmett and I took our usual seat, him next to Rose, and myself next to Edward.

Alice and Jasper seemed to be in a heated debate. "No! Jasper I'll telling you the Civil War was fought to end slavery! It's right here in my notes!" She practically threw her notebook at Jasper.

Jasper didn't care; he barely seemed to notice. "Alice, most people think the main cause was slavery and the slave trade. Yes, slavery was an important cause of the Civil War, but the biggest reason that the war was fought was over secession, the south breaking away from the north."

Alice's face was ruby red, something that often happened when she was stressed. "That's not what Mr. Tanner said!" She was practically jumping out of her seat. This whole scene was absolutely hilarious. "He said the south broke away from the north when Lincoln was elected because he wanted to free the slaves!"

Jasper shook his head, and, if possible, Alice's face got redder. Just when you thought Alice was going to explode Emmett, good 'ole Emmett, stepped in with one of his classic questions. "What are you talking about the north and the south for? I thought we were fighting England."

Alice, whose face was blood red, was staring Jasper who was just sitting casually back in his seat both slowly turned their heads to Emmett as did the rest of us. The look of pure serious confusion was priceless. Every single one of us was laughing so hard and so loud that we could barely hear Emmett.

"What did I say?" He asked, frantic.

That only made us laugh more.

I swear the whole cafeteria was staring at us but we could care less. It felt nice to laugh like this again, though I could slowly feel the hysteria disappear from myself so much faster than it did everyone else. Even there at school I couldn't help but think about my parents. All the teacher here at school knew my parents. My mother was good friends with some of them and since my father was the sheriff everyone in town knew Charlie.

As I sat in my seat surrounded by my whole school, in a room full of two hundred plus students, five of them being my best friends, I still found myself having this sense of loneliness. _Something ain't right here_, I thought.

I looked across the room and out the windows into the school parking lot. From here I could see Edward's car, and my truck's parking space. It brought back a memory.

One icy, winter day, my sophomore year, when everyone was just getting their license. I had just got out of my car and was walking across the parking lot to Edward, and when I was just two feet from him and his car, I heard this loud screeching noise. I just barely caught a glimpse Tyler Crowley's black van charging toward me when Edward hit me, throwing me to the ground and saving my life, something he seemed to do on a daily basis. Especially now.

911 was called and so were my parents. To this day I still remember my mother and father speeding to the school, through the parking lot, my mother leaping out of the car before it was fully stopped, and riding with me to the hospital.

I was snapped out of my day dream by Edward whispering into my ear. "Bella, what's wrong?" My eyes snapped up. Everyone was still talking, enjoying each others company and their lunch. I reached my hand up to my cheek and felt something wet on my face, a tear. The feeling of loneliness vibrated though me with much more intensity. I tried my best to suppress the feeling.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I whispered back.

I did my best to avoid Edward's gaze, knowing all I would see is genuine concern for me and that was something that would make my stomach turn. Luckily, Edward didn't press the matter. I did all I could, used all my might, to have a good time with my friends. I enjoy their company like they were doing. I wanted this feeling of hopelessness and loneliness to go away. But I just wasn't strong enough.

I couldn't stop thinking about my parents, and by the time the bell rang for my next class all I knew was I was up an running. I ran out of the cafeteria and onto campus as fast as I could. I know I looked insane and I know everyone was staring at me, watching me go. I think I even heard Edward call my name and felt him grab my hand, but I just know I don't remember much. I just ran as fast as I could.

It's hard to face truths about yourself, and in the midst of all my pain I was facing an ugly truth about myself. I never really put much thought into it before, or maybe I had and did everything I could to not face it, but with my parents gone I felt the overwhelming sense of weakness.

I had always thought I was a strong individual. I cooked, cleaned, grocery shopping, had a part time job, everything I could to take care of myself. I thought I was pretty independent, but with my parents gone, and this huge space in me filled with pain, I realized I wasn't as strong and independent as I thought. And it scared me to death.

* * *

_Come, come, my dear  
Take flight, come near  
I see your fear creeping around you  
First love, then hate, then love, no, wait  
Your confusion, it's gonna kill me  
I broke for you, I woke for you  
You taught me through, God love you,  
I see the signs are out of line  
No fault of mine  
Except for don't say his name now_

_I'm breaking out, something ain't right here  
__You're falling out something ain't here_

_I'll pray for you now__  
I'm speaking to you**  
Something Ain't Right Here, by OneRepublic

* * *

**_

**Thank you so much for sticking with this story. I promise you I'm still  
writing this story as well as **Freebird **and **College Life**. It's just really hectic  
this year. Yes, this is my Junior year of high school, thanks for asking.  
Anywho, please review. I promise to send out sneak peaks into the next  
chapter.**

**Love you guys  
**_Foreversleepless_


	5. Someone to Save You P1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters nor do I own any of the songs that make their way through my stories. Everything is inspired by OneRepublic and Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Dreaming Out Loud

Chapter 5 – Someone to Save You (Part I)

Soundtrack – Someone to Save You, by OneRepublic

* * *

**Previously:** _I looked across the room and out the windows into the school parking lot. From here I could see Edward's car, and my truck's parking space. It brought back a memory._

_One icy, winter day, my sophomore year, when everyone was just getting their license. I had just got out of my car and was walking across the parking lot to Edward, and when I was just two feet from him and his car, I heard this loud screeching noise. I just barely caught a glimpse Tyler Crowley's black van charging toward me when Edward hit me, throwing me to the ground and saving my life, something he seemed to do on a daily basis. Especially now._

_911 was called and so were my parents. To this day I still remember my mother and father speeding to the school, through the parking lot, my mother leaping out of the car before it was fully stopped, and riding with me to the hospital._

_I was snapped out of my day dream by Edward whispering into my ear. "Bella, what's wrong?" My eyes snapped up. Everyone was still talking, enjoying each others company and their lunch. I reached my hand up to my cheek and felt something wet on my face, a tear. The feeling of loneliness vibrated though me with much more intensity. I tried my best to suppress the feeling._

_"Yeah, I'm fine." I whispered back._

_I did my best to avoid Edward's gaze, knowing all I would see is genuine concern for me and that was something that would make my stomach turn. Luckily, Edward didn't press the matter. I did all I could, used all my might, to have a good time with my friends. I enjoy their company like they were doing. I wanted this feeling of hopelessness and loneliness to go away. But I just wasn't strong enough._

_I couldn't stop thinking about my parents, and by the time the bell rang for my next class all I knew was I was up an running. I ran out of the cafeteria and onto campus as fast as I could. I know I looked insane and I know everyone was staring at me, watching me go. I think I even heard Edward call my name and felt him grab my hand, but I just know I don't remember much. I just ran as fast as I could._

* * *

It's hard to face truths about yourself, and in the midst of all my pain I was facing an ugly truth about myself. I never really put much thought into it before, or maybe I had and did everything I could to not face it, but with my parents gone I felt the overwhelming sense of weakness.

I had always thought I was a strong individual. I cooked, cleaned, grocery shopping, had a part time job, everything I could to take care of myself. I thought I was pretty independent, but with my parents gone, and this huge space in me filled with pain, I realized I wasn't as strong and independent as I thought. And it scared me to death.

I ran back to the Cullens as fast as I could. It didn't take long to reach Forks city line. The hard part was reaching the Cullens house. They only lived about five minute outside the city limits, but that was only when I was in the Volvo when Edward was driving at his insane high speeds.

I started to slow my pace when I noticed the yellow and white lines on the road began to blur. My legs were weak from my mile and a half run. I wasn't an athlete so I definitely wasn't in shape. The closest I came to playing a sport was when the Cullens decided to play baseball in their backyard. They got so into it; one time I remember Emmett hitting what would be a home run in a normal stadium if Jasper hadn't jumped up and caught it. He just barely made it to second base with Edward chasing him. They always had so much fun and always tried to get me to play. But like I said, I wasn't an athlete. I was a referee.

Occasionally Charlie and Renee would come up and play with them; however it wasn't much of a competition. Charlie may be a sheriff, but the Cullens love nature and hiking. Plus what with Carlisle being a doctor and everything exercise was really important to them. Don't get me wrong, my dad did exercise but not the kind of exercising the Cullens did.

With thought of my parents I started a dead sprint. I ran under my legs practically gave out on me and I had it sit on a rock on the side of the road. I was about half way between the Cullens and school and I felt a cool breeze tickle my skin. Now in Fork that isn't at all uncommon, however it usually meant one thing.

As I calculated how much time I had before the weather would take a turn for the normal (yes normal, it is Forks after all), I heard the soft hum of an expensive car making its way down the road. Considering this was a small, rainy town that hum could only be one car.

"Come on. Get it," He said as he stopped his car beside me.

It took me a second to rise to my feet; my legs were throbbing in pain, but with a little crack of thunder and the brilliant shine of lightning and I had my motivation. The second I was in the car we were on our way. It didn't take long for the heavy rain to start pouring down, but it also didn't take long for us to pull into his garage either.

Edward, being the gentleman he's always been opens my door for me before I'm even given the chance without giving me such much as a glance. "Thanks," I mumble as we make our way into the house. He takes of his shoes and makes his way upstairs and to his room without making any eye contact. I find him there sitting on his black leather couch with Yiruma's The River Flow Through You playing softly in the background.

I sat next to him and as if by instinct Edward pulled me into his arms. It was probably the best place on Earth to be. Every girl in school wanted to be where I was now. It kind of made me laugh because for whatever reason Edward hardly paid any attention to any of the girls at school. I think in his whole high school career he's gone out on two dates. One was because this girl in our class, Jessica, wouldn't stop asking him out. She followed him around during school and somehow she got his cell phone number which led to the repeated calls and texts.

After a while she just became too annoying and Edward didn't want to hurt her feelings and tell her to go away so he went out with her. I got an earful of that when he got home. Apparently it was awful. The only other time he had to go on a "date" was when Alice forced him to because she wanted to meet Jasper. He took Angela, who is one of my best friends. I heard from them both that they had a nice time but they were just friends.

As for myself, well I didn't really date much. Once I went on a date with Mike Newton. What a terrible time that was. Don't get me wrong, Mike's a nice guy but he's not my kind of guy. He was all over me the whole time and I guess it's okay if you're into that thing. I wasn't. Since then I haven't dated.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled again. "I'm sorry for running out, but I just couldn't stay there. I just don't think I'm ready to go back."

I felt Edward take a deep breath. "What happened, Bella?"

"I don't know. I was having a good time at first, but it seemed kind of superficial. Then I caught a glimpse of my old parking space and…" I had to stop for a moment. I didn't want to tears to come. Not in Edward's presence anyways. "It reminded me of the time you saved my life from Tyler's attempted murder." I tried to let out a believable laugh but Edward tensed a bit and tightened his grip on me. "I was thinking how my parents were there, how my mom rode with me to the hospital. I remembered when Charlie threatened to kill Tyler, or at least revoke his license.

"Suddenly I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't understand how I'm supposed to be happy anymore when they can't be here to share it with me. I don't understand how you can expect me to move on, to forget them. They should be here right now with us. Renee should be starting on of her crazy dinners and Charlie should be playing poker at work." I could feel the angry tears run down my cheeks. I couldn't hold them back and so I gave up trying. I sighed and looked up at Edward. "I can't act as if they never existed. They created me. It's because of them that I'm here. But now they're not and I don't understand why. It's not fair!"

Edward pulled me closer to him. "Bella, nobody expects you to or even wants you to forget your parents. We all love them and you are right. It's not fair that they were taken from us. I'm sorry they aren't here now like they should be. It's completely wrong, but there's much I can do for you and that kills me. But I do want you to know something Bella." Edward took a deep breath. "I care about you. More than you could possibly know. I won't let anything bad happen to you ever again, I promise. I'm going to take care of you, Bella. You can count on me."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I wouldn't forget my parents that I was sure of. I never could. I would probably miss them for the rest of my life. With time maybe it would get better but right now it feels like I'm stuck in a hole and I can't seem to dig myself out no matter how hard I try. From where I am I can't see the top. I can't see anything, just darkness. No hope. However, I was happy to know one thing in my life. I know I can count on Edward. For the rest of my life I'll be able to count on Edward.

I felt Edward move and stand up. I gave him a questioning look. He just held out his hand for me to get up too and follow him. "Go downstairs and sit on the couch. I'll be there in a minute."

"Why?" I asked as I whipped my eyes. I'm sure I looked absolutely wonderful to him. Good thing I hadn't worn any make up that morning, but even with the plus of my make-up not running I'm sure my eyes were red and puffy.

Edward didn't say anything so just went downstairs. I didn't need to bother him anymore. He's put up with so much from me and I was sure it wasn't easy. He need some time and space so I was willing to give it to him. I only hoped he wouldn't give up on me. Nowadays it was the only thing I hoped for.

About then minutes later Edward came downstairs with two duffle bags, one blue and one red. Without say anything he walked passed me out to the garage where I followed him. There he put both bags in the back seat of the Volvo before turning around to face me.

"Come on. We're leaving," He said.

I didn't take long for me to put two and two together. I just froze where I was. I didn't know what I was supposed to do when someone said something like that. A bunch of questions popped into my head. Some of them questioned Edward's sanity. But looking back on it now there were two things I never thought. I never questioned where we would go. Why? Well that's because of number two, my trust and faith in Edward never wavered. The only thing I could think of to verbalize was, "What about Carlisle and Esme?" I looked at the ground.

He sighed and moved towards me, taking my hands in his. "They'll understand. Don't worry." When I didn't make a move to get in he picked up my chin with his finger to make me look at him. "I promise everything will be okay." Looking into Edwards emerald eyes made it impossible to doubt him. He knew that. "Now please get in." I sighed and made a dramatic entrance while getting into the car. I could have sworn I heard Edward chuckle a bit.

The second Edward was in the Volvo he was in crazy driver mode, put the car in reverse, and we were on our way. I didn't bother getting out a map; Edward's Volvo had a built in navigation system but for some odd reason he didn't use it. It didn't matter to me though. I had much more pressing issues to deal with but I knew I couldn't handle them right now.

Instead I shut off my mind. I listened to the sweet, soothing sounds of Yiruma that played in the car and made myself confortable in my seat. Edward and I didn't need to talk; the silence was easy going between us. Edward leaned forward and turned on the heat making the car a wonderful, peaceful place to be. It was nice to get out of my mind. I could feel my eyes start to droop and I didn't fight them. I choose to succumb to my body and mind's exhaustion. However, before I fell asleep I felt Edward slip his hand into mine causing a smile to spread across my face.

For the first time in weeks I slept with no dreams and most importantly no nightmares. I'm not entirely sure how long I slept for, but when I woke up it was dark out. Somehow during my "nap" my body ended up in a very uncomfortable position. I started to sit up.

I heard a soft chuckle, "Your hair looks like a haystack." I went to reach up to my hair, a natural reaction, when I noticed my hand had been intertwined with Edward's the whole time. I could feel my cheeks burn, whether it was from his comment or from the fact that we were still holding hands I didn't know.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Don't worry. I like it," He assured me.

I didn't say anything. Instead I looked out the windows trying to make sense of my surrounding. "How long was I asleep?"

He didn't have to think. "Maybe four hours or so."

I rubbed my neck. "It feels like days." When I finally gave up on trying to decipher unknown settings I asked Edward where we were.

"We're on I-5 South." I nodded, though I knew he couldn't see me. I tried to clear my groggy thoughts by shaking my head when my stomach decided to make its presence known.

I groaned, Edward laughed. "Don't worry, Bella. We're getting ready to stop for food."

"Thank God," I muttered under my breath. Edward laughed again.

We stopped at Hayden's Lakefront Grille in Durham Oregon which I learned was about twenty miles south of Portland. A pretty bottle blond named Danielle, probably in her early twenties was our waiter, seating us right away. The whole time she was trying to make small talk with Edward. She wanted to know what college he went to, what his major was, why he was in Oregon for the time. She spent the whole time talking to him and ignoring me, not that it mattered much. No matter how much she tried to flirt with him, Edward wasn't paying much attention. Instead he walked me to the table with his hand on the small of my back.

She was determined though, because even though she was just the hostess she came back multiple times during our meal just to check up on us and make sure "everything was just perfect." It was making me nauseous, though I guess I should have been thankful for the distraction. One thing I was thankful for was that we a waiter, so I didn't have to worry about throwing up my dinner, I could just enjoy it.

"Hello, my name is Robert and I'll be your waiter tonight. I like to get to know my costumers so if you don't mind me asking what your names are?" He flashed a smile at me.

Edward spoke for us both, thank God. "My name is Edward, and this is Bella." He motioned towards me.

Robert didn't acknowledge Edward at all. "Bella, now that's a pretty name."

"Thanks," I muttered. I thought I was just going to have a peaceful dinner that is until the waiter starting asking me some of the same kind of questions Edward received from the hostess. "So you go to college around here?" Rob asked.

"Uhh," I looked over to Edward for help. He just smiled and said nothing. "No. Actually I'm a junior in high school." For some reason I could feel my face heat up.

"Oh, really? I never would have guessed." He flashed me a smile, took our orders and menus and then left.

I turned to look at Edward. He couldn't hold back his laughter anymore. "Haha… Bella's got a boyfriend."

I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster. "Yeah, thanks for the help there Ed-ward." I drew his name out. He was still smirking. "At least I don't have some bottle blonde cougar chasing after me." That whipped that smirk off his face.

When we finished our meal we were both a bit surprised to see that not only did our waiter bring the bill but so did the hostess too. I refused to do much talking, I kind of left the up to Edward. He was the perfect gentleman, even left a nice tip and as we were leaving I noticed something on the back of the bill as Edward put it in his wallet.

"Hey, what's that?" I asked pointing to it. He flipped the bill over only to find Robert (541) 461-4561 and Danielle (541) 461-1894 was written on the back. Edward and I didn't stop laughing even as we entered the car.

* * *

_You are so much longer  
That made sense  
Apathy in disguise  
Crept on you like a spy  
Hurt you in ways  
You can't describe_

_Back to the start now_  
_I wont let you go this way now**  
Someone to Save You, by OneRepublic**_

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**Thanks so much for reading. I would love to hear your  
feedback and anything else you have to say. Oh, and if  
you've seen DEAR JOHN let me know how it was... Just  
please don't spoil it.**


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